πίστη και την επιείκεια

50

2010-07-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was in a tricycle on my way to work I had 100 peso bill, last money I had, that I used to pay for the ride from home. The driver gave me back 73 peso worth of change that I slipped in my pocket then hurried my way in to the seminary.

During lunch, I used the sum of money I had in my pocket to buy lunch. It was about 75 pesos for the food and 9 pesos for my drinks. When I was done eating, the lady in the dinning hall called my attention and told me that I gave a fake 50 peso bill!

As I was thinking about it, 50 percent of what I gave came back to me...fake. Even though it's not as much as a fake 500 peso bill which could've been devastating, still it was what it was. I asked my self how come I wasn't able to notice it. It was very bright red, the original bill was lighter, it only had one letter in the serial number when there should be 2. The hidden image of the hero in the bill was different, he looked funny and had a lot of hair on his face. Amused by what I was seeing, then I began asking and thinking...deeper.

I began asking my self these questions, "how real am I?", "Is there even a speck of fakefulness hiding in me?", "does my search for authenticity reflect that I am not being real my self?", or "how much truth do I believe in my self and to others?".

How much fakeness do you have? How much is real?

Coeur brisé moi...again

2010-06-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

"Great night!" (so I thought) .

Before sleeping, I did my routine on checking mails, reading articles, and visiting Facebook (of course). There she was feeling alive despite her being denied of her vacation back home. Plans were great before she got denied with it, meeting up, hanging out together, getting to know each other more kind of like. I wanted to walk with her, hold her hands, touch her face, dine with her, walk her home and perhaps...give her a good night kiss.

But then disappointment came, she was devastated, I felt her pain, I felt sadness and how much she tries so hard for whatever she desired to happen, somehow work out. I felt that.

She is a part of me, no matter how some people "identify" her..she was part of me, I invested a big part of my heart to her, for the second time...

After a lot of days without communication, I felt something's up. I know she's going through something, she used to call every night, but she stopped doing it after she got the bad news. I started to wonder, left her emails that some she answered and some she did not.

I wanted it to work, I tried for it to work. She kept saying that we both need to pray for one another. I did. She did, at least she told me she did.

"Good Morning!"

I did not know what was happening, no calls, no emails.

Checked my mails, and there...an email from her, on Facebook, without her profile picture..just her name.

She wrote:

i was desperate 'coz all of my plans wrecked.....i'm very disappointed ....I think things between us for the moment won't work out.... because of my situation, i can't be there for u if u need someone to talk to....because of some personal problems....

my company is unstable and i don't have any assurance because the owner planned to change the management again & again....i've been here for more than 2yrs....and everything was still the same....no wage increase & frequent salary delay....

i decided to take a risk and look for another job....come what may........

if ever in the future if we're really meant for each other we'll gonna meet again....

just take care always.....

God Bless us always

...and I paused

Am I In Pursuit of God?

2010-06-11T19:19:00.000-07:00

Browsing through my blog and reading comments from my previous posts, my last blog, entitled Starting Over, was about how God revealed His plans for me. How trusting I was expressing that, and how obedient I was...but what about now?

What has happened to me? What happened to that trust? That obedience?

I haven't been good in to doing that these past few months. I was in FEAR. I have been focusing on the wrong things, instead of looking towards the plans God laid for me, I was looking and searching for something else. Maybe that's why a lot of people say I am losing weight, I am indeed, but not physically, I am losing weight - spiritually. I believe that if that your soul or spirit is not being healthy, or you don't keep it healthy, it would manifest itself from the inside...out.

I looked for somebody to confide with rather than seeking God Himself. I sought for a romantic relationship to fill a big void rather than allowing God to fill that void. I am in deep trouble. I thought I knew everything, but the more I know these things the more I act like I don't really know. What do I know then?

Maybe the question that I should ask myself is that, do I have faith in everything that I know? Do I trust that One who knows everything? How is my relationship with Him? Am I seeking Him before seeking anything else?

I often thought that asking for space would be a good idea, but why am I asking of something that I have right now? I have a big hole already and now I am thinking of SPACE?! Might as well ask for a black hole!

There are things that I need to deal with, I need to be whole...again. This is my pursuit, to be whole and complete in Christ. My desire is that I would be able to be a mirror that reflects Christ, in my relationship to my loved ones and to others. I just want to be where God is, and allow Him to seal the black hole-like emptiness that is keeping me from growing and the other believers that I have asked for help, empty. Without Christ doing a great work in me and complete it, then I will never be God's obra maestra.

A friend of mine, told me, during Chris Tomlin's visit in the Philippines, that I should acknowledge God's power over the things that are keeping me from being who God wants me to be. That I should let go and LET GOD...

So yes, I am in pursuit, letting go...and letting God do the great work in me and through me

Starting Over

2010-02-06T00:27:00.000-08:00

Moving on...

Leaving a church, best of friends, family, and some really great people are perhaps things that I avoid. I always thought that I could gather everybody in one place till our hairs turn to gray and our faces are filled with wrinkles. But I can't.

Less than a month from now, I will be, well as they all say...starting over.

I could still remember the time I was having breakfast with my former boss at my first job, he asked me, "What are your plans?", having told his plans of putting up his own software business, I readily told him that I always wanted to be a missionary. It was the clearest thing that I ever uttered, being involve in God's work in the front lines. But as time passed I always justified it as something that I can do while having a secular job, I mean I should always do things for God's glory, so why be a missionary?

Resigning from that job, I have heard my boss has already built his own company and is doing well, he is also a Christian and has applauded my desire for an eternal purpose. But that desire faded, not until now...

Having 4 jobs in a year, was difficult. I couldn't find a place where I could say that I am "happy". I enjoy doing my job for like the first six months and not enjoy it after. Everything becomes a routine and happiness just comes when the boss is not around, or when we play DOTA every after 2 hours or when tempted to do so. Work for me was like that, I never thought of seeing it in a different perspective.

And so I prayed, I really prayed, there was one church service that I remember when I prayed, "Lord, show what it means to serve you in spirit and in truth...", I have prayed for that many times but I guess I never meant it.

Months after, after seeking answers about being complete and happy, I lost my job...the company I was working with shut down. The human reaction was always to ask God why... Remembering my prayer, I knew God was up to something, something greater...as they say, "be careful what you pray for..."

On December 2009, a friend of mine came home for Christmas told me that my recent job application at the seminary still stands, and that the seminary is really praying for me. Being without a job, and without the money to pay for my bills, I readily contacted them through Facebook mail and told them that I am interested.

The seminary, the place where I would fulfill God's plan and my desire to be on the front lines...this is it, so I thought. I got convicted that I need to go to the seminary because God in His still, small voice, told me to do so, I don't need to go because of the job, or because I need to pay some bills, or for any other reason...just that voice, I needed to hear that voice...again.

I decided not to take the offer, I decided not to talk to people from the seminary. I needed to listen. I did not want my decisions to be clouded by people, by circumstances, by any other reasons and excuse. I needed to listen.

Then there was this Friday morning, JB and I were having our devotional about the life of King Saul, David and Jonathan. We shared about how important obedience was than offering sacrifices. How God turned His back from King Saul as a price he needed to pay for his disobedience. Having our morning prayer, never expected how that day would turn out.

Evening prayer meeting came, same day, the church was praying for there new deacons, and extending their blessing to the missionaries in Burma. I remember a missionary came up the pulpit and closed that prayer meeting with the same prayer I prayed that morning...I HAD GOOSEBUMPS!

That night I knew I had to listen again...and it all boils down to this. I have decided to follow Jesus...no more excuse now, no more hiding, I am going.

I am moving on...starting over with a different perspective. And NO...I will not be leaving anybody behind, I don't want to think about that that way, I am just going to a place where God wants me to be, and when I meet them again...what an AMAZING view that will be.

That Little Boy

2009-12-14T17:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas...a season of hope, love, giving, and joy. As I was contemplating what Christmas would be like for me this year, I thought of other people instead...

As a growing Christian, I know and have always believed on the true reason why I celebrate Christmas, but then what about others? Will they live the same truth? When there is hopelessness, poverty, illness, and other miseries!

I think of the kids on the street, with nothing to eat, and with no home to be on Christmas day. I feel for my friend who's mom is in the ICU who just had brain surgery. I feel for my friends who won't be with their parents and complete family during Christmas day. I wonder what will be Christmas be for them...

But then when I think of the pain that these people go through, the loneliness they have to endure waiting for their loved ones home, the cold of the night that the kids would have to endure...i think of that boy...who was born in a manger, cold, where no inn would accept them, where no family would be willing to help them, and soon enough where people would soon crucify Him.

I think of that little Boy...who came to give everybody HOPE. Who gave the reason for all of us to celebrate. That despite the sufferings, we believe that one day will come He will wipe every tear in our eyes, and every torn that caused pain He will remove.

I don't know how those people would celebrate, but I wish that they would think of that little boy...

Life's Crisis

2009-10-31T07:26:00.000-07:00

Life, some say it's unfair, some say it's worth having, some treasures it so much that they refuse to lose it, and for some a toy that they can play with any way they want.

A lot of people today visited their dearly departed in cemeteries, I always wondered how they lived their lives. I wonder why, after years of being lost, they are not forgotten. Will I be forgotten?

It's a long weekend because of the holiday and I just came from a retreat with a lot of young people from Cross Reign Ministry Church and I had a retreat my self too. It's my first time to be really be a part of a team that would really handle a retreat coz before I was this boy who just participates and be led. Now it's my turn, time has turned the tables on me.

During our first night, I was able to have a slight of background of those kids. Some were recently suspended from school because of drinking inside the classrooms, by the way, did I mention they're just in high school? So yes, some of them were dysfunctional, they're going through stuff that I think I was in back then.

So being there for these kids, it was a very BIG opportunity to be in the team, it was a time for me to personally minister to those kids in a timely crisis. The crisis of life...

When I was at their age, I really did not have a full understanding of living a Christian life, I never really felt the need to understand it as well, I think I was doing OKAY...

My prayer is that, whatever they learned during the retreat, I just pray that they choose and really decide to treasure it, the response might not come overnight, but I do hope that they get to walk along with it.

And to those who have already decided how to do with their lives, I hope they remain faithful, I pray that they would really press on and not give up. Life is wonderful with Jesus. I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

I really like to write about it a lot more but I felt like, I just have to sit and wait for God's hands to work. I did what He told me to do...now i'll leave it all up to Him.

May God bless us all, let us continue to press on and not give up.

Creative God

2009-06-12T06:24:00.000-07:00

In the evening of Friday 2009 AD, the Philippine Independence Day, I was able to attend a prayer meeting that uhm...well not the usual setup but tonight was something meaty and chunky. After the prayer time, two missionaries shared their testimonies in the congregation.

One is a Filipina, she was able to serve the Lord in the mountains of Nepal the other was an American, a pastor who is training young people and those young at heart for missions.

I decided to write this here because it was memorable...God spoke to me tonight. In His own creative way...

I am overwhelmed...

Questions

2009-06-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

Answers...I always have thought these could close a question, that it could actually solve a dilemma but these past few months I have come to realize that it really doesn't give you relief but rather opens its way for another question, thus the loop goes on.

Questions like "How Are you?", seemed complicated and hard to answer, it was like a part of you says that your OK and the other not really so. For some who have recently asked me...sorry if i just gave you a grin. Last night, a couple of young people faced the the same question and i wasn't really that happy to know the answer.

When you are in an ocean of questions and there aren't answers that you could really fish out, sometimes it's better to embrace the tide and flow with the current. You'll never know where the current will ead you to. When I was talking about this with a really really dear brother, Jarrett, he said that..."in part, questions are wonderful because they keep you moving somewhere, they keep you continuing forward and looking for something more. If you were given final answers and there were no more questions... then there would be no more need to progress and discover..." he adds, "the more that I have them..the more I realize that I don't know but the hardest thing is to rest in that..."

And the moment he said that, i have come to realize that, questions really aren't there to confuse you but rather to guide you, and yes maybe to a new set of questions...like they say, only dumb people don't ask, though I really don't believe that dumb people exists...only questions.

Questions are like dots in your head and that you need some line, called answers to connect them and somehow distiguish their realtionships. Maybe if you look into the details you just see a never ending loop of dots and lines but when you see the bigger picture...a painting, a new work of art is made. It's like zoomin in on a painting of picture and all you could see are pixels and dots of paint....

Composition #5

2009-04-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

Composing...one of the things I do to vent out emotions. It's 10.45PM and my brother's sleeping in my bed, while listening to Josh Groban's songs, I am hoping to come up with a good or better piece. So here goes...

My Rest
by Admiral Ato

In my silence, I find peace
In my clamor, I find release
In my quest to lose myself
I seek no other but Yourself

My selfishness engulfs me
Thy presence humbles me
How long! How long! Shall I rest?
Put an end to my restlessness!

Like sheep, stubborn and complacent
I find humility, Oh when shall I see Your debasement
Will I be ready? Will I be weary?
When without Thee, I toil, I grow jaded...

Just as the heavens await
So shall my spirit anticipate
For You to come, for You to conquer
Vanquish my pursuit, for there's no need to wrangle

When will I leave?
With You...no more shall I cleave!
My benevolence, compassion, and affection...
Take hold of it, for I don't want them, because You are here,
Alive and near...

Losing Weight

2009-03-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

It's been three days now since I started working out and burning some calories. The gym's pretty near my house and it doesn't cost too much at least not for now...

I decided to attend gym classes for the reason that I don't have any sport that i could do everyday...or just to be precise, I don't know any sport (and yes not even "shatong"). I felt like I never enjoyed my chioldhood coz I don't know how to play basketball nor drive a bike! I've been pretty much at home when I was I kid and lived mister goody-two-shoes.

Reluctant to go to the gym, I decided to join former office mates, Henry and Rodney at the gym. Don't really plan to build big muscles or 6 packs of abs, I basically want to sweat just like other guys who play various sports. I don't exercise nor do I engage into any sport and my work needs me to be in front of the computer for like at least 9 hours so I really thought I need this.

Since it's my first time to ever attend a gym class and work out I was surfing through the net of some helpful tips for people like me, here's what I've had so far (src: Eight Time Saving Work out Tips):

Do exercises that use multiple muscles, called multitasking. For example, a squat uses the front and back of your legs as well as your butt. After each squat, add an overhead shoulder press using a light dumbbell and you will hit even more muscles.

Focus on your big muscles. Working your biggest muscles burns tons of calories and will give your metabolism a good boost. These muscles are your butt, thighs, back and core i.e., lower back, abdominal and oblique muscles.

Intensify your aerobic workout. By doing so, you can get results in half the time. For example, instead of doing forty minutes of walking, jogging or low impact aerobics go on a bike or treadmill at a high intensity for twenty minutes. If you have been working out regularly for at least a month, you could try doing intervals.

Exercise at a level that to you is hard, or very hard for two minutes Then, lower your effort -- but keep moving! -- for one minute. Repeat this cycle for twenty minutes.

Double up your exercises. Rather than resting between sets, use that time to work a different muscle group, preferably a complementary muscle. For example, alternate one set of biceps curls with one set of triceps dips. Alternatively, do a set of seated leg extensions with a set of leg curls. These are super-sets and they nearly double the number of exercises you can do in a short time.

Incorporate circuit training. Circuit training combines aerobics and strength training in the same workout. Doing this type of work out gives you calorie-burning benefits along with strength gains. For example, do a strength exercise for one minute. Without taking any rest, move on to another. Every two or three exercises add one minute of jump roping or your aerobic activity of choice for one or two minutes.

Before your morning shower and breakfast, or during your lunch hour, squeeze in two sets of ten of the following bare-essential moves: crunches, pull-ups, push-ups, squats and lunges. These calisthenics target and tone most areas of the body but do not take more than a few minutes to do. Short bursts of exercise add up. If you can accumulate 30 minutes of physical activity in a day in short bursts, you will get the same benefits you would if you did it all in one session.

Try something different every so often.Monotony in an exercise routine leads to boredom, which will ultimately lead to no exercise. A change in the type of aerobics, or your specific weight training routine will avoid this problem and will give you greater fitness benefits. You will burn more calories and stimulate muscles in a new way, accomplishing more in a shorter period. Try activities you truly think you will enjoy or you will defeat the purpose and get more frustrated and bored.

I'm not sure if I could follow all these tips but at least I know what to do.

Me and my Cancer

2009-02-22T16:53:00.000-08:00

The "ME" attitude has been around since I was born...spiritually and physically. It has consumed my thoughts and my life to be exact! Not until my eyes were opened on the true reasons why I was really born. I had no idea I was living in this God forsaken attitude...it's a cancer, a spiritual cancer.

For my five years in walking in the "born again" road I have never thought that I had this cancer, it's been feeding thru my bones and my soul. I always thought that I was doing theRIGHT THING but after stumbling onto a huge rock, and getting a slap in the face and got diagnosed...I wasn't doing what God wants me to do...

In my whole Christian life I have always served and got involved in church ministries and alike, singing in the choir, teaching Sunday school, ministry there...and everywhere. After doing all that...I couldn't help but ask my self, why...why am I doing all these? Trying to do everything, and at the end of the day I feel...burned out, with no more strength to do other things. Serving the Lord should be fun, refreshing and more so...relaxing.

I sought for help, prayed to be exact, asked the Lord, "am I really pleasing You in what I do? are the things I am doing are the things that You want me to do? or am I just doing all these because of guilt, and self comfort? " And when He truly reveals to you the real things He wants you to do..the questions would be more scary...

Most Christians nowadays have schedules that are way out of control...speaking engagements, bible study groups, and the like. Schedules that satisfies the human soul...not really Christ. We tend to control our own schedules and place as many "christianly work" into it but really forgetting what is necessary. We are drawing far away from God rather than drawing close and near to God...being intimate. We sacrifice so much with our intimate time with Him with our own selfish efforts.

I could remember myself one time complaining that most young people are not ready to listen to God's word or be at Sunday school because they are always late...for me it was a sign of disinterest. But I realized that it was my cancer who was talking...worst it was ME talking! God's work...is God's work. No need for me to complain or comment on what others are showing or even doing.

We need to separate ourselves from God's work. God is sufficient...no fabrication, no more additions, no more side dishes, no more decorations...just God.

It's a struggle, to have this cancer...but God is still the God who heals, who is full of mercy and of grace. So I need to let go of the things of what He says is not what He wants me to do. Schedules will be changed. I have to let go of the things that pleases me and leave behind the things that really pleases Him and gives Him the glory...no more fabrications.

Missions? teaching Sunday school? singing? leading bible studies? G12? I have nothing against these...but I would ask my self, "Am I glorifying You Lord when I'm doing these? ", let God be the real author of our schedules and much more...the real author of our lives.

A broken spirit and a contrite heart...God will not despise. Nothing more..nothing less. He is enough.

Choices

2009-01-16T18:37:00.001-08:00

Choices, they haunt us first thing in the morning. From what shampoo or soap to use, to what clothes to wear. Often times we need to make wrong hasty decisions that we can never take back and soon enough you find yourself in a pool of resentments. Swimming away, to fix everything.

What was done, is done. I must admit that there were few decisions that I made and resented. OK may be there were more than basically a few...

Everyday I face decisions and a lot of them I never even imagined doing! But even if there were wrong ones, I find myself in a good position.

In my daily walk with my Creator, I have learned to not rely on my own understanding and to never EVER trust my self. Was that another choice? I think it was. I decided to write this note as early as this morning after watching the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy and Smallville, where they had to make choices.

A line in that episode drew a question mark in me that says, "Whatever makes you sleep at night...", when a patient was asked to make a choice.

Grey's Anatomy:
A death row patient wanted to do something good before he dies and decides to give his organ to a boy who badly needs it and is just waiting for some miracle organs to come. The doctors in Seattle Grace didn't want him to die in the hospital, so he decides to kill himself by banging his head exposed brain in his bed!!

Smallville:
Clark was led to choose whether to save mankind or his best friend Chloe who was possessed by Brainiac and was abducted by Doomsday. But ended up saving Chloe and mankind with the help of his 31st century friends from the Legion. Pretty cool.

So I tried asking myself, HOW DO I MAKE CHOICES? I run to God's Word.

We may not know if we came up with the right choice, we don't know what our choices will make up for us. We do not need to know God’s decreed will and how He is providentially bringing it about before we make a decision (Deut. 29:29).

Knowing our future is not our primary objective, and it's not even our job! Often I find myself considering my future before I make any decisions, maybe it does matter but often times for me I end up knowing that it really doesn't. Our destiny in not written in some stone in the future...we write it ourselves together with God. We have no idea what our future is but we know WHO holds it for us.

God is a gracious God who has provided everything we need in order to do what He wants us to do (2 Pet. 1:3). So what is there to worry about? Wrong decisions..yeah I made a lot but my God is SOVEREIGN!

If we make a decision based on biblical commands and principles alone we can fully trust that we are pleasing God in our decision and fully trust that He will providentially (by circumstances out of our control) change our choice if it is not within His decreed will (Ps. 119:30; Prov. 16:9).

And with that I end this note...

“The Bible must be our standard. Whenever we are confronted with a question about Christian practice, we must apply the teaching of the Bible. Sometimes the Bible will deal with it directly, and we must go by its direct teaching. Often the Bible will not deal with it directly, and then we must look for general principles to guide us. It does not matter what other people think. Their behavior is not a standard for us. But the Bible is a standard for us, and it is by the Bible that we must live” (J.C. Ryle, Walking with God).

To All Who Knows Theology

2009-01-10T08:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, if you know anything about it, kindly read down...

And yes, any theology...

Before the year 2008 ended, I kinda opened a conversation with some guys having their masters degree at the Asia Pacific Theological Seminary, while having breakfast, I asked them about what they think of "transferring from one denomination to another", preferably...from being a Nazarene to being a Southern Baptist.

I've been serving in a Southern Baptist church for more than a year now in a choir and in the ensemble group. My Nazarene pastors knows it and yes...they have questioned my loyalty...

If a church is a "body of believers" those who sincerely accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, how does Christology and Theology play a role in a "church"?

I have heard that if your Christology is WRONG...then everything you believe is WRONG!

I remembered when I was in high school, i left church because I think the people that I meet every Sunday were wearing masks...i know that we ought not to check on somebody else's heart, but maybe I was just in the point when I tried asking and seeking the TRUTH.

Everybody seemed...perfect, holy, and.."born-again" but at the end of the day, they take off their masks and live a different life.

I remember a song that I used to sing in the Southern Baptist church:

"Oh may all who come before us find us faithful,
May the light of our devotion LIGHT THEIR WAY,
May the footprints that we leave...LEAD THEM TO BELIEVE,
And the lives we live INSPIRE THEM TO OBEY,
Oh may all who come before us FIND US FAITHFUL..."

And as I was singing this, I've asked myself if somebody did find me faithful...

Honestly, when I was still the one "who came before" I didn't find those who were ahead of me...faithful, and that's very frustrating!

If transferring from one denomination to another is a question of THEOLOGY...please...enlighten me...

Am I discontented? (Maybe...)
Am I bitter? (I don't think I am...)

I am just basically wanting to know more of what a church should be...

I believe that it should be a gathering of the broken, the humble and not of the proud, the helpless and those who place their hope in the One who SAVES...

What do you believe?

Are we who proclaim to be born-again Christians really are walking in the Light? Or are we just being soooo religious? Are we even real in what we say we are?

Help...

Nostalgia...getting over it!

2009-01-04T17:46:00.000-08:00

The holidays are over, i'm sitting here in my office chair, staring at my computer. I celebrated Christmas at home well, not really celebrated I just slept all night for some reasons that when i woke up for noche buena I kinda got edgy and decided to sleep the whole night and wake up at 3am to sing at church for the Christmas Dawn Service. Here's a video of me singing Mary Did You Know...

This was taken during the 530am service at church the Ensembles where I'm one of the members were singing just before everybody uttered their first prayer probably on Christmas Day.

It was different this time, I think there was more freedom in my self that I got to celebrate the holiday the way I WANT IT and not the way the world would think of it to be celebrated. I got to be reunited with two of my closest friends...Glen and Ruel they even brought a missionary friend of theirs who is also their classmate in the seminary who is by the way from Ohio, USA...Jarrett Davis. I must confess that at first it's kinda awkward seeing them after so many years for Ruel and months for Glen.

A day from their arrival I decided to meet them at last along with some of my friends in church.

After meeting them at Port Cafe, Gaisano Mall, I treated them over for coffee at Blugre, Landco Bldg. I had Jarrett try the Durian Coffee and we all had a great time together...felt like they never left! *sigh*

So here I am, being EMO and nostalgic, pouring everything to writing which I think would help even for a slightest bit. After Christmas, I was able to participate in our youth's camp, which swarmed with young people from the East Mindanao district. I didn't hang out at home most of the holidays, I just like out in the streets or in somebody elses house, and for me it was fun.

New Year's eve came, attended prayer meeting to at least let God know that I badly need His help for the coming year, another year, another walk with my God. Seeing my friends after that night, I decided to spend the New Year at JB's place since there were just two of them in there house, his parents are working in Saudi Arabia and weren't able to go home for Christmas and celebrate with them during the New Year. Ruel and Jarrett celebrated the holidays with Glen's family and some relatives.

New Year came, sent everyone dear to me a text message saying my appreciation, and for relationships that I really find hard to reciprocate. Leaving for Manila on the 2nd day of the year...I was afraid I will be losing them for God knows how long!

We all spent their last day in Davao till we couldn't have enough, ate our last dinner together, ate durian together for the last time, IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE LAST TIME..and that...well s*ckd!

Brushing off my thoughts of the "last time", I enjoyed every moment of it. I just wished I was able to stop time and make them stay longer...longer...and another longer.

The dreaded day came...January 2, 2009. They are leaving...it can't be stopped. They like stayed here for 10 days and for us it wasn't enough, really not enough.

We stayed at Glen's house to help them prepare their stuff and probably hangout out with them till then leave and go back to Manila. Just being inside that house with them tears me apart. I kinda get really emotionally attached to people easily, the problem is i find it hard to reciprocate that's why when they all go...painful!

My friends and I got in the car of Glen's brother and head to the harbor, upon arriving, we all hugged eached other, hoping it wasn't the last of it...

then...silence filled the air...

Jade's Appendicectomy

2008-12-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

Previously on Jade' Appendicectomy...

On the dawn of December 15, as the lights in the neighborhood turned off one by one, the village wrapped in silence and enveloped by the crickets' snore, I received a message that gave the reason as to why I am being interrupted in my slumber.

Wendy, my best friend's sister, beeped me saying that her brother's in the hospital and might undergo surgery in the morning.

At the 11th hour of December 15, the operating room ate my angkol, eating his appendix and leaving his body without it.

On the night of December 15, I came over with some of our friends, visiting him in the hospital. There he was, trying to pee avoiding the tube that the doctor was planning to insert in his ureters.

Sometimes You Need to Stop

2008-12-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

It doesn't mean that when you stop doing something, you don't like doing it 'nymore, well that's what I think. Same happens to people and relationships...

I missed blogging, I really do, but sometimes I need to stop it because I don't want to end up writing non-sense blogs and writing so much that I don't make any sense at all.

Anyhoo, it's gonna be Christmas soon and I'm looking forward to seeing friends whom have gone for a long time and giving presents to my "inaanaks" and to few people that have been a blessing to me in their own little way. I just hope I could give 'em something before the year ends, if funds permit. I'll see you all next year! A good year to all of us!

"Forgot Your Password" ?

2008-09-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well what do you know, who could ever thought the most widely used password recovery procedure would be exploited? Who could ever thought that a security procedure would not be that secured at all?

I was checking my mails at Hotmail and bumped into an article in MSN. There was an individual who just stole somebody's identity just by viewing the victim's profile that is freely available online! With the flooding rise of community sites on the web today, like Facebook, Friendster, even IMEEM and others, your information is freely available and who ever bumps into your personal information would use what they see to access your bank accounts, email accounts, and other vital information they could get.

I am talking about a man named Herbert H. Thompson, a professor and software developer who was able to spent a career in software security. In his article, he said, "I decided to conduct an experiment to see how vulnerable people's accounts are to mining the Web for information. I asked some of my acquaintances, people I know only casually, if with their permission and under their supervision I could break into their online banking accounts. After a few uncomfortable pauses, some agreed. The goal was simple: get into their online banking account by using information about them, their hobbies, their families and their lives freely available online."

Some security researchers are beginning to sound the alarm about "password resetting" tools, suggesting they could be the weakest link in Web security.

If you try looking for your friend's information, you could simply Google their names and without invoking a magic word, or waving a magic wand, there you see a list of sites where your friend's information is freely available and worse freely exploitable! I tried Googling my name, and there it was, a list of the sites I am currently subscribed and with all the correct but undated information. I tried Googling Himura's name and that's how I found out when his birthday was! (I won't use your information against you Himura.)

When Paris Hilton's cell phone was famously hacked in 2005, some tech sites reported that criminals simply used her dog's name, easily found online, to break in. That theory was later discredited, but it likely sent criminals scurrying to find famous people's dog's names.

It also prompted researchers to study the issue, which is also known as “fallback authentication.” Ariel Rabkin, a researcher at the University of California at Berkeley, is probably the first to attempt to quantify the problem.

"Security questions are getting weaker over time," he said. Mother's maiden name, for example, continues to be asked even though it's often now available from various online sources. "We can’t seem to get rid of that question. … If we do nothing this will get steadily worse."

Red Tape Wrestling Tips
Researchers like Jakobsson are looking for new ways to authenticate consumers. One obvious area of potential is biometrics. The chief criticism of this technology, which uses people’s eyes, fingerprints, etc., to verify their identity, is the “doomsday” possibility that once such information is compromised, it could never be trusted again. You can’t change irises, for example. But Thompson points out that the same is true for personal information such as your first pet’s name or you mother’s middle name. While biometrics has potential flaws, new systems will soon be necessary, Thompson said.

Of course, these security enhancements are still in the future, so for now, consumers must fend for themselves. When answering password recovery questions while registering for online banking and other Web sites, don’t always pick the most obvious question. Consider what someone might be able to find about you on your blog. Better yet, consider not disclosing any personal information on your blog.

Alfred Huger, a security researcher at Symantec Corp., offers this suggestion: Some sites now allow consumers to make up their own question. While that might be a hassle, it’s probably much more secure. Again, think of a question only you can answer, and something that’s unlikely to be in any database. That probably means the name of your first girlfriend or boyfriend won’t cut it.

So the next time you post your information on the web, maybe it's good that you lie about it...just to be safe. If you don't want to lie, you can still post real information on the web but you would not give them "possible answers" to the "Forgot Your Password" link...

Sources: Red Tape Chronicles, Scientific American Website

Ho Do I Know That I'm Ready for Another Relationship?

2008-09-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

When do you really know?

After a breakup, is there a time span when to start all over again?

How do you know that you won't mess up this time?

How do you know if she's "the one"?

Where do I start looking for her?

I had the urge of writing about this after watching the Sex and the City film. I thought that film was full of the sex and not much of the tissues. Yeah there were some awesome sex but really more on relationships.

Just to give you something of what the movie was for me, for me, it was more about these people facing another phase in their lives. From "labels" to real relationships. Living the New York life, some may say people come to New York looking for "real love" it's a melting pot of people who had broken relationships and trying to build it over again and find the real thing.

Yesterday after work, I went downtown, without really knowing where to go and what to do. Landed on the mall, saw some familiar faces from college, some married, some with their other half. And who am I with??! It strucked me that I was alone, being a born-again Christian as I am, I am well aware that I am not alone, but God did not make me to live alone...I know I have to look for...love, the love of a woman whom I can share my love, thoughts, time, and attention.

So how do you really know that you're ready for another relationship?

Well, my thought is...I need to think of what went wrong with my past relationship yes it was long distance and most people say it would never last, but things happen differently for most people right? So I think it may or may not work...it just depends on how you both do your part in the relationship. So how do I know that I'm up for grabs and ready to meet another lady? "You can't give what you don't have", do I love my self more than any body else? because if i don't then how do I know how to love? I must love my self and get to know my self for me to be ready to share love to someone who's worthy of that love and would gladly accept it.

Is there a time span?

I don't think there is, well they said it has three phases before you start all over again, you can start all over again if you're willing to, after you have forgiven yourself and admit that you failed, and that you have forgiven your "ex" for her lapses.

How do I know that I won't mess up this time?

Again, YOU DON'T KNOW. You never will know, entering a relationship is like getting into something that's uncertain, all you know for sure is that you are in love and that you're vulnerable to fail at some point. You can't please every body as hard it is to please your self, you don't know when you'll mess up or when she does...but the question would be, how will you handle when she or you mess up during the relationship? How quick are you to judge? How quick are you to listen? How quick are you to forgive?
If worse comes to worst, that's when one of you will say, "We need to talk..." that would be the scary part, better prepare...

I can't answer the rest, I dunno the answers...if you think you know, lemme know...

A Moment of Silence

2008-08-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the past few days that it would take forever for me to write everything here. I even sent my friends a "text-blog", a 5 part text message of what I've been wanting to spill in the days that passed.

My grandmother died, August 23, 2008, my mom and the rest of my uncles and aunts are grieving but in a way happy that they can't see my grandmother suffering in her bed. She died in my aunt's house at Digos City at 5 o'clock in the afternoon.

I never had the chance to visit her while she was still alive, I don't even think she remembers me, I don't have any "emotional attachment" with my uncles and aunts, honestly, I was so insecure that I can't step my foot at their place. Yes, I was insecure...

On the day of her burial, I left the house pretty early in the morning to travel to Digos, and when I arrived, my aunts and uncles were there that I haven't even met. I just met them that day, and I discretely looked for my cousin/friend (he's the one closest to me) but haven't found him for some hours. I saw his sister (who's really really pretty BTW) so grown up and turned out to be a pretty lady. There were a number of people that day that I really don't know, and I don't know if they also know me...i don't know anything about them, nor do I know something about them...

My insecurities left a mark on me, "I missed knowing my aunts and uncles and especially my late grandmother..."

As we were walking on the road bound at the cemetery, I had some chat with my cousin, I don't know if it was just me or he's aloof. I haven't talked nor seen him for months and a lot has happened since we last met. It was like a reunion but never really knowing what to reunite to. I felt no link between any people at all. I felt out of place.

After my grandmother was buried, I asked for my cousin's father, and he said "you don't know my father?!" and I was just like "I don't know anybody here at all!", so he pointed out to me who his father was and saw him.

I felt this urge in me to reach out to my relatives, really reach out to them like they are really my relatives! But I think it's kinda too late for that now...or is it?

With the past few days, I felt that I have to do something with my relationships with my relatives, my family, my friends, and every body else, not knowing where and how to start.

I missed not knowing them...i think I just lost the opportunity of knowing them deeper like I should.

The Ensembles

2008-08-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

en·sem·ble

A unit or group of complementary parts that contribute to a single effect, especially:
1. A coordinated outfit or costume.
2. A coordinated set of furniture.
3. A group of musicians, singers, dancers, or actors who perform together: an improvisational theater ensemble; a woodwind ensemble.
4. A work for two or more vocalists or instrumentalists.
5. The performance of such a work.
Music
1. A work for two or more vocalists or instrumentalists.
2. The performance of such a work.

After all of the rehearsals and silly moments at the Golden Palace Hotel in Tagum City, we finally had our first break, to sing in a wedding! We never really had enough time practicing all the songs, we practiced some of the songs during our stay at the hotel. We call ourselves The Ensembles, we sing in the funerals, weddings, birthdays, any occasion you want us to appear and sing, we would be pleased to serve you through our voices. The group is composed of people who can sing in Soprano, Alto, Tenor, and Bass (SATB). Ms. Lalai sings the soprano, Miss Joy sings the alto, I sing the tenor, and John sings the bass though he sings tenor really and we wouldn't be singing without our pianist, Kuya Levi.

The wedding was held at the CAP Auditorium in Tagum City and so as the reception. When the wedding started I sang I Will be Here as the bride marches the aisle and as she approaches her "soon to be" husband waiting in the altar. We sang a lot of songs really during the wedding ceremony Mis Lalai sang Ikaw, Miss Joy sang Father We Commit to You, Miss Joy and I sang The Gift, and the most challenging song I ever sang but always thought of singing...The Prayer, a duet with Miss Lalai, too bad we weren't able to capture it on video maybe if we obtain a copy of the wedding's video coverage I could post it here and see how I was able to do it. We also sang together during the reception when the bride and the groom danced in front of the people.

The Ensembles

The above video was taken during our stay at the Golden Palace Hotel, Ate Lalai was practicing her piece, Ikaw, Joy and I were doing some interpretation of the song just being silly coz the song makes me yawn and feel sleepy but Ate Lalai really has a good voice that even made the song more like a lullaby! We have more wacky videos during our rehearsal at the hotel and if you want to check our own community site you may as well do so by going here to get a glimpse of our past, present and future engagements!

Now for some photos...

This is our picture together with the other wedding coordinators and the newly weds!

Joy and I are practicing our duet, The Gift.

(from left) Joy, Kuya Levi, and Ate Lalai

We were pretending shooting a new teleserye

A hostage crisis!

Ate Lalai took a crystal glass!!! "I didn't see anything..."

A rock star wanna-be.

The Ensembles
John, Joy, Me, Ate Lalai, & Kuya Levi

Singing You..."You are the one who makes me happy..."

Avatar: The Last Airbender

2008-08-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

At last I finished the three-book series of Nickelodeon's awesome animated series! Avatar: The Last Airbender is about a young boy named Aang who's destined to save the world from the hands of the Fire nation's Fire Lord Ozai.

In Hindu mythology, gods manifest themselves into Avatars to restore balance on earth, usually after a period of great evil. The Chinese characters that appear at the top of the show's title card mean "the divine medium who has descended upon the mortal world."

In order for Aang to defeat the Fire Lord and restore balance on earth, he needs to master all four elements, air, fire, earth, and water. As the title says, Aang is the last air bender, meaning he can control air, and use it anyway he likes, but he still has to improve his air bending.

In the Avatar, the world is divided into four nations, each according to the four elements, Earth nation, Fire Nation, Air Nation, and Water Tribe. And luckily Aang found friends who could teach him all four elements, from each country. Katara, from the Water Tribe and her brother Sokka, found Aang, so Katara began to teach Aang water bending, because, Katara was the only one alive in the water tribe who knows water bending, the others and her brother Sokka, doesn't water bend. But as the story progresses, Katara was able to meet an old lady banished from the Water Tribe who knows water bending and taught her to master the techniques, and introduced to her Blood Bending, which has the ability to turn humans or anything that has blood into her puppets! (alright! that's awesome!)

When they got to the Earth country, called Ba Sing Se, Aang found an Earth bender, who also has the ability to bend metal, she's the only one who could do that from the Earth country, and guess she's blind! She calls herself the blind bandit when Aang was looking for her, she's Toph Bei Fong. She's pretty annoying in the beginning but as the story changes, so she does, she's really kickin' ass!

And the last but definitely not the least who joined his team, and became his fire bender teacher, is Prince Zuko, Fire Lord Ozai's one and only son, whom he banished from the Fire country because he's a disgrace to the empire. Prince Zuko wasted his effort on defeating the Avatar to regain his honor, but later realized that his honor could not be given by anyone, not even killing Aang could regain his honor, with his uncle's help, he changed into being a good friend of Aang. Though it was kinda difficult for them to accept Prince Zuko in the team, knowing that he's the son of the Fire Lord, he earned their trusts and taught Aang fire bending!

So when the time arrived for the Avatar to face the Fire Lord, it was one awesome duel, hope you could see the episodes too. If you want to you can go here. You can watch the episodes there via streaming. Aang, doesn't want to kill people, so he didn't kill Fire Lord Ozai, but removed his fire bending and locked him in the dungeon of his own country. Then, guess who took the throne, Prince Zuko!

WordCamp Philippines 2008

2008-08-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

I read about this event via Henshin's post, here. And so I registered! Events like this should not be missed by all bloggers.

To know more about WordPress.com and the geeks behind it, look thru here.

Joining this event would be a great opportunity for me, personally, I want to know what WordPress has to offer to its consumers, I already ordered a shirt from them, weee! It's here at last, this rarely happens in Davao!

This event will be on 4 September 2008 (Thursday), at Toto's Bar in Casa Leticia, J. Camus St., Davao City. It will start promptly at 6:00 PM.

So what are you waiting for? Join now!

For more of the event visit the WordCamp Philippines 2008 or Mindanao Bloggers

The event is made possible by the following:

i.PH: the Domain for Individuals

Free Online Flash Games

Wazzup Manila Philippines

Real Estate CRM

Real Estate Website Designers

Orange County Real Estate

Auto Insurance Quotes

Lane Systems Inc.

RedMedia

Orange County Business Lawyer

Cebu Pacific Air

Buddy Gancenia Reality TV

SmartBro Wireless Broadband

SPOT.ph

Make Money with Performancing Ads

See you on September!

Coeur brisé moi

2008-08-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't a blog written in French, it's just the title...

I was trying to find the better words to say when i'll be writing this blog, I kept lookin' and lookin' 'till i couldn't find any. So I just have to spill it out. If you happen to see the video above, it might look funny, and the lines were funny but in a way, it makes sense...and i feel for the guy.

yes, i feel what he felt, the time his girlfriend uttered the words, "it's not you, it's me", this line has been used over and over again in scenes like this...a breakup scene. It's a cliché euphemism that has been around well since i guess our first parents, Adam & Eve, broke up!

I'm not going into details of how it happened, because I don't want to. I'm in the first stage after breaking up called denial. It's the stage that you deny to yourself and to the people around that you are not hurt, that you are "Ok". It's been 2 days, and I haven't showed pain to myself, and the people around me and I think that's denial. In Psychology, there are at least 3 stages that I have to go through before I could start another relationship, I haven't grieved yet, oh! how I don't want that time to happen where I would just wallow and pity my self.

I'm so much the guy in the video! Argghhh! Good for him that his girlfriend told him of what went wrong, unlike me, I never got the chance to ask why she broke up with me.

Well, that's how it is, you love, you get hurt, you cry, you'll live...

Back to the Stone Age

2008-07-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy night, i'm alone in my room watching "Artificial Beauty", first time since that I've turned on the television, you may be asking why it's because I don't have a computer, and I'm a CAVE MAN!

I'm using my father's laptop, maybe he left it in my room because he's the one to blame why I've gone back in time. It's kinda boring when you don't have a computer at home, especially when you really need one. As of now, he's fixing a new CPU for me to use, I hope it works. The computer I'm using is pretty old, been using it when I was still in college, I just upgraded the RAM to 1 GB months ago. I'm really saving for a new computer, many recommend a laptop but for now, I want to stick on a desktop, yeah..i'm a mobile person (literally) but I'm not yet ready to have a laptop, maybe when I run my own business, i'll definitely buy a high-end laptop. For now, a desktop would be great, a high-end desktop...quad core processor, 8 GB of RAM...that's what I'm saving for and I know that would cost a lot.

So I guess I'll just stick to borrowing this notebook when I get the chance, if that desktop isn't gonna work. I'll see you around readers and bloggers alike.

Personality Test

2008-07-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

While I was blog hopping, I read a blog from an ex-officemate of mine and followed a link for a personality test, below were the results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Is this for real? I'm a Paranoid!

Opportunity to Serve

2008-07-21T04:29:00.000-07:00

Exodus 4:13 (New Living Translation)

But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”

Last Sunday, at church something strucked me, it was an experience that came to me that I can't explain or put into writing how to describe...

It was a gloomy Sunday morning, was prepared to go to church, every time I go to church I always have this feeling that I should be perfect before the Lord, I guess that's just me and my melancholic nature. When really, if you go to church you must admit to yourself that you are weak and that you are helpless. It's only that you feel broken before the Lord that He can work in your life and if you allow Him to change you and mold you of who He wants you to be.

When Sunday School ended, was late then, my Pastor approached me and "appointed" me to lead the Offertory (offering) and without second thoughts, I gladly accepted it. Minutes passed she told me to also take the part in the Call to Worship! It's a part of our Sunday service wherein we invite people to pray to prepare our hearts to worship the Lord and to prepare us in singing praises. It was a daunting task! Personally, my conviction is, I really don't want to stand up in the pulpit "unprepared", both spiritually and mentally. I always see to it that everything should be in order and well-prepared.

I freaked out...I could feel it in my bones! And so I whispered a prayer, asking God to help me that He should do the Call to Worship and not me, to just make me an instrument for His people to be prepared. But before that, I really freaked out, was looking for Bible verses to remind people on each part that I would do, but then God reminded me to just be still.

Just like Moses' refusal, just like how he panicked when God chose him to do something for Him, he didn't believe he could do it...yes he really couldn't have, we could just do what we want to do if we ask for God's help...

John 15:5

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing."

As my boss would say that to know how to swim is to dive into the water. I wouldn't have learned anything if I weren't placed into a situation where I could learn. When the Sunday Service ended, I learned that I just had the greatest opportunity to serve...

100th - Centennial Clicks

2008-07-17T22:15:00.001-07:00

Yes! I made it to the 100th's!

The first time I blogged was when I first joined Friendster. Then I stopped writing because I gave my self away so much into writing that I couldn't hide my self anymore. But here I am again...blogging.

Writing is an art, a way of expressing one self. And with it you have to give in and give yourself to your readers, pouring your heart in what you write. I think that goes to all aspects not just in writing, that we give our heart in whatever we do if you really want to achieve something.

With this cake, I share my achievement to my readers, and I give the first slice to Henshin, I owe you one, thanks for encouraging me to write again little brother. And to all my readers, enjoy this cake I am happy to share it with you.

...for your eyes only...

The Corporate Ladder

2008-07-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

My first week at work at last. Learning new things, yes there are adjustments but that's just a part of learning. While pondering on what to blog, I came across on what my perceptions are on aiming high and living your dreams.

I grew up in a poor family, my father's a salesman, while my mom is looking after us and be the "ulirang ina". Even though we never had the luxuries in life, we're happy. And I think what matters is that when you go home from a hard days work is that you have peace and you end the day smiling. And yes, it's not always like that, there's always that what you call "spices in life". My father loses his patience when he got lots of stuff up on his head and I must say, it often times destroys that peace but he's a good provider in the family.

Enough of the blahs, with what you just read, and if you're like me - trying to live a better life and building a future, then you may read down (source: Gary M. Stern):

Learn from others who have succeeded. Of my past employments, I never had the chance to know the story behind the success of my bosses or even their failures. My source was books, lots of 'em. From the Leadership of Billy Graham thru a series of books on Leadership by John Maxwell. These guys made it to the peak of their careers and are living the happy and contented life.
Adapt to each corporate culture. Know the corporate culture of your company, what makes your company is it base on relationships? For instance, if you are working for an advertising company or even sales, you need to build a good relationship over your clients to win their trust and in turn give you some sales.
Start looking for the next job as soon as you're hired. Moving around too much from one company to another can be detrimental and staying in a job year after year may also cause stagnation.Keep your ears open for new opportunities as soon as you're hired. Keep in touch with executive recruiters, former colleagues, and attend conferences aiming to network. After two years on the job, tap these contacts to see which challenging jobs are out there that fit your skills.
Seek advancement from within. If you don't like "company hopping" try to seek other opportunities that you may find yourself fit within your company. You may move from Software Development to Software Sales Department, take yourself to greater heights. Do not be stagnant.
Consider taking a risk. Consider, at least, going for an interview and seeing what the new company has to offer. Don't cut off opportunities and only choose the status quo.
Keep learning. Always be better than yesterday!

When you want to achieve greater heights for a greener pasture, do not forget where you came from, and that's nowhere!

Reputation takes years to achieve but only a day to lose.

So be careful. Be content of what you have, share it to others. And give your heart on whatever you do.

Book Review: Your First Job

2008-07-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

Friday, July 11, 2008, I bought a book from Nelson T. Dy, a Christian author of the book entitled, Your First Job - A Practical Guide to (Survival) Success, I bought it because I was kinda in a situation where I was "company hopping", meaning I jump from one company to another. And that is not easy for me.

So I decided to look for some book that may help me answer the question as to why I am where I am right now. And this book has blessed me in ways I never thought it would.

After working for so many years I never thought I'd ask my self again the question as to why I want to work? People look for a job after graduation to earn money and to save for their future. I know that most of you who are working right now that it isn't that simple. The book tells me that God is a worker Himself. You know the story of Creation? Read the book of Genesis, there you would see that God made the heavens and the earth, including man in His own image and likeness.

What if Adam and Eve "never ate the forbidden fruit"? Will man never work to provide for himself? If you know the story of Creation, there you would see that God made man to toil...painfully toil the land and eat from it. You may not be toiling the soil but you're still working and eating the fruits of your labor...that's hard work!

In my past employers, I learned a lot from being a slave to being a leader. The book taught of the life of Joseph the dreamer, he dreamed that his brothers would someday bow before him and during those years, dreams were something that are being valued by most people because it relays a message from the future. And people gives a big deal over dreams, but when Joseph told his brothers about it, they ridiculed him and made harm on him. He was sold as a slave to Pharaoh in Egypt.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

When God gave you a job to be done, always give your best for His name to be glorified in you. When Joseph served as a slave to Pharaoh, he never murmured nor demanded to be free, he just "bloomed where he was planted" he served Pharaoh because he believed that God wanted him to, and that it was no accident that he was there.
The same also goes to our jobs, after graduation, we pray for God to give us a job, we submit resumes to prospective employers and when we get the job...mostly what happens is we murmur more than we work.

Work is a Blessing, Not a Curse

Most people here in the Philippines find it hard to look for a job or land on the job they've always wanted. If you have a job right now, you are blessed apart from more than a million of people who doesn't have any.
When you work always aim for EXCELLENCE...if you want to get rich, forget it! Money is just a by-product of excellence. You get to enjoy more of your salary when you know that you did your best to get the job done!

I have learned a lot upon buying this book. And if you're like me, I'd highly recommend this book for you as well. Let's try to be more diligent and faithful in our jobs and be a blessing in our workplace. Don't think too much of promotions, a salary raise, recognitions, always aim to be excellent in what you do. If you think you know everything, believe me you don't. There's always room for improvement, mold yourself more and don't be afraid to try new things.

Don't ever be afraid of failing. In fact, the most successful person in the world are those who commit mistakes often but learns something out of their mistakes. If God is with you, you don't really have to be afraid of failing because He knows everything even before it happens.

Think out of the box. Don't just limit yourself because of how much you earn try to expand your sight in your workplace, run some extra errands even if it's not in your job description. Expand your horizons.

In the Midst of the Storm

2008-07-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read my post about my previous trip in the B'Laan tribes in Saranggani, better read it here.

The typhoon "Frank" who recently flooded a lot of areas here in the Philippines also struck Saranggani province, there were some casualties, and the saddest was the passengers of MV Princess of the Stars a passenger boat of Sulpicio Lines, until now, they were not able to retrieve all the bodies trapped inside the boat.

The first time I visited the place, I was amazed by how it looked like at night, we arrived there during the night because we just came from another location at the other side of the mountains. The place was filled with fireflies and kids were serenading us with songs of praises sung in their native tongues. It was like Jesus' graceful entrance in Jerusalem...without the donkey.

When nature strikes, you can't do anything...but pray, for your safety, and that it would stop soon. When typhoon Frank hit Saranggani, the place where we were ministering were destroyed, homes, even the the church they use for their Sunday Service..destroyed, look the the images below of the church before and after the storm..

This was their church when we last visited. And this is what has been left now....

The Lao Church after typhoon Frank

When I saw these images from our Shamah Tribal Mission Coordinator, Rev. Wen Gallardo, I was moved and devastated with how much damage the storm caused. Damage and trauma...all in one place. The first thing that came up on my mind and I tried to ask my self these questions, "How are these people taking this?", "Do they feel that God has turned His back on them?", "What will be their lives like after the storm?".

Questions that I really need to answer or at least find an answer, I needed to see for my self. The roads were vanished, the team who recently went there must take a different route to send help for the people of Lao and at least comfort them, and tell them that God would never turn His back away from them...they only need to believe that. And I don't know personally now, if they really would...

The way into Lao Tribe, eroded by the river

A different route to Lao Tribe

This little girl was fetching water to drink

Rev. Wen Gallardo contemplating on the debris..of what's left for the people of Lao

The team praying for the people of Lao

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
- Matthew 18: 20

There were a lot of Filipinos who were homeless after the storm, a lot of people around the world looking for help after each storm, a lot of people needing food to feed their hunger, water to quench their thirst...and apart from those people...only care LESS...

If you care, kindly include them in your prayers...we know that God is always at work, and He allows things to happen for a specific purpose, for His glory to be shown for His power to be manifested in the midst of His people.

We Need Each Other: To Work With

2008-06-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

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God put us on earth to do a certain work that only we can do. Ephesians says that God made us to do good works and that he planned in advance what we would live our lives doing. However, he didn’t plan for us to do that work alone. We need people to work with us.

You know the feeling you get when you do too much work on your own. You get exhausted and burned out. Why? Because you’re trying to do your work alone, while God never meant for you to go through life working alone.

God tells us in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that “two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together” (NCV). When you work as a team, you get so much more done. Plus, having good teammates alongside you is a whole lot more fun and less tiring!

Picture this: Individually, each of us is like a snowflake; on our own, we can’t make a big difference. However, when one fragile snowflake sticks together with a lot of other snowflakes, they can stop traffic. Like snowflakes, we can make a big difference if we work together, each one of us doing only our small part.

Did you know that when we work together here on earth, we’re actually practicing for eternity? In heaven, we will all have to work, but each of us will have just a small piece of work, so we’ll never get overloaded or tired. Still, though no one will carry a heavy burden as each one of us does our small part, all the work will get done.

As you walk through life, remember that you’re not supposed to do everything on your own. You need other people to walk alongside you, but you also need other people to work alongside you. As you share the burden of your work with fellow Christians, you’ll find that you actually accomplish more for the glory of God.

Risks in Faith: God Multiplies

2008-06-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.

2 Corinthians 9:10 (NIV)

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If you give God your time, he multiplies it. If you give him your money or energy, he multiplies those too. It’s like planting seeds. Farmers know that seeds must be given away – sacrificed by being buried in the ground – to do any good. If you keep a seed in a sack, it does no good, but if you plant it, it multiplies. For example, when you plant just one watermelon seed, you get a bunch of watermelons with hundreds of seeds in them. In the same way, God multiplies whatever you give him.

What’s the key ingredient in this seed planting? Faith. But we have to understand the difference between faith and bargaining. Bargaining is when you say, “God, help me close this deal and I’ll give you part of it.” But God doesn’t work that way. God asks for faith – he wants us to sacrifice in advance, not knowing that we’ll get anything in return –then he wants us to let him figure out how to repay us.

One of the great lessons that Kay and I have learned is that you cannot out-give God. Whatever you give him, he multiplies. Three different times in our marriage, God told us to give away our entire savings. Each time we obeyed, and each time God restored our finances in greater ways than ever before.

I’ll never forget one of our church building campaigns. Kay and I prayed about how much to give, and God told us to give an amount equal to one year’s salary. I didn’t know how we would live for an entire year without a salary, but we obeyed God.

About a month later, we saw God’s plan when a publisher asked me to write a book and offered an advance of $100,000. That book became The Purpose Driven Church.

Jesus makes us this promise in Luke 18:29-30: “I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life” (NIV).

And 1 Corinthians 15:58 says: “Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (NIV).

Remember, when you give a seed in faith to God, he will multiply it.

SPIRITUAL TENSIONS

2008-06-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

“The father instantly replied, “I do believe, but help me not to doubt”

Mark 9:24 NLT

After spiritual birth comes the tension of spiritual growth. The new life imparted to us by faith in Christ comes into a consistent collision with the old nature that is still inside us, the nature that has governed all our lives in the darkness of sin. As light came into our soul by faith in Christ a real tension is experienced. Tension between the spirit and the flesh, between self effort and faith and the adjustment is never easy.

It’s not going to get away as long as we are in this mortal body. Somehow the tension between faith and doubt exist as a persistent reminder that it is not our design to be independent from God. And that our freedom in Christ is not a declaration of independence but a declaration of dependence on Christ alone. This is the way we overcome the tension not by getting rid of it but by total surrender daily to Jesus. It is a timely reminder of Chuck’s Swindoll that our goal is progress not perfection. This is really comforting as well as convicting.

The statement of this nameless father in the gospel of Mark is not only true for himself, in the same manner I think if feel the same. Part of me says God is trust worthy and then a moment later I doubt his trustworthiness. Like ants in the pants doubts keep faith moving. Yet to a certain degree it’s so frustrating that we are unable to really become stalwart saints of great faith. I think progress starts when we admit the tension instead of hide it. It’s called vulnerability.

The existence of such vulnerability must not be used as a license to remain hostage of fear or to wallow in unbelief rather it is a jumping board to find help from God that we may live by faith. And by that we mean trusting that God will do what is right in his own eyes, that’s faith! The naïve ones have tried to erase the tension by giving false hope or putting the blame to someone’s defective faith, especially when things don’t turn out the way we expect them to be. Because of the tendency to doubt many chose to doubt the authenticity of their faith. It’s comforting to recall that Jesus did not rebuke the man for his statement.

Admitting doubt and desperately asking for help is the beginning of victory over the spiritual tensions. Yes it won’t go away, but God makes a way that we overcome and experience victory in Christ. The tension is dealt with when we admit it and CRY to God for help! As we probe deeper in this new life we see more spiritual tensions between our ways versus God’s way, our desire versus God’s design and many more. Again what matters most is as we face these challenging and irritating tensions we can rely that our Lord walks with us! It really helps when we say admit our helplessness that we may find help from Jesus! The goal is progress not perfection and pretending we’re strong won’t help!

Rev. Arnel Tan

Here I am, Lord; Send Me

2008-03-06T18:43:00.000-08:00

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8

The world offers a lot of things or circumstances to worry, unpaid bills, even..deciding what dress to wear for the day. But does it really matter? What do we get from thinking all of these? I guess that's one purpose of wrinkles...they grow, they start as thin lines, crossing your face and the more worried you get the thicker they become. After all the days work is over, we worry again of what to eat, the money to buy our food, wahhh!! a never ending list of worries!

Last February 25, 2008, I was given an opportunity to serve at a remote village of the B'laan tribe at the province of Saranggani, Philippines. The ministry was named Shamah Tribal Ministry during my participation, it was led by the Church of the Nazarene ministers, Rev. Wen Gallardo and his wife, Rev. Nick and Sylvia Cacho, Rev. Nelly Loyola and her husband, and with the coordination of the East Mindanao District's Superintendent, Rev. Pastor Irene. This ministry is also supported by people who was touched by the Lord to do the Lord's work.

With me were a group of young people who never expected what the message of this trip would be to them, personally.

As we traveled, with a view of majestic mountains and vast oceans, words could never describe how beautiful the sceneries were. I was sitting at the top of the jeepney to have a better look of the virgin forests around us...I was just stunned.

When the team arrived at the site, we were unloading all our stuff to prepare to climb and cross the mountain to get to the next valley on the other side of the mountain. But before that, we enjoyed the river flowing from the other side, it was crystal clear and cold, it gives you the chills when you dip your feet in it. We noticed that the road was widened already, and it was confirmed by a local that bulldozers came to widen the road but thankfully, the river wasn't destroyed. I can't wait to dip myself in the water and refresh my self..

Just before we do things for ourselves, it's time to leave the camp site and climb the mountain...
With us are our personal belongings, kitchen utensils, food for the feeding program, stove, generator, and LPG tank. Thanks to the locals we didn't have to carry the heavy stuffs like the tank because they volunteered to carry the heavy stuff.

When we arrived, people gathered in the sanctuary, with their torn clothes, dirty faces, smelly bodies, and desperate souls. Seeing them like that lead me to see another version of suffering, poverty, and pain...

Living in the city where everything is available blinded me of this version of suffering...their are a lot of people out there who're very unfortunate but yet happy...and contented.

This child was enjoying each spoon of arrozcaldo he ates! I personally don't like arrozcaldo that much, but seeing them, it was like a slap on the face...

Coming to that place became a challenge to us, that we need to let the world know of the God that we are serving. He is the God who provides for those people in the mountains, and the exact same God we believe does exist here in the city. I think those people in the mountains knows more of Him than the people around us.